What started as a humble vegetable garden......

Those who have been with me since the beginning will remember in my first post  that one of my many aspirations for 2015 was to breathe new life into the concrete sleeper that have lay lifeless in our backyard for the past year and get cracking on the vegetable garden.

I am fortunate to have a very handy husband. In a previous life he must have been on a construction site or a master builder because he seems to be at his best when he has a project on the go and a hammer or shovel in his hand. I recently encouraged him to start thinking about a new project that he would like to work on since he had successfully reroofed the shed and had started looking alittle lost without a new project on the horizon.

To my delight one afternoon after returning home from work I found Adam and his apprentice Adella measuring and digging holes in preparation to commence the mammoth task of building our  vegetable garden. My husband Adam never does anything in halves so what started as a humble vegetable garden has turned into a structure that will outlast us both!

A new daily highlight for me is returning home from work and checking on the progress.......

x Grace

 

 

 

A Letter to Other Working Mothers

Mother's guilt is real. Nearly all of us experience it. We are racked with guilt, feeling that our best isn't good enough. We struggle with necessary choices such as returning to work, and how this will impact on our children's happiness. We mum's feel guilty when we can't afford something for our kids or are nagged by the feeling that we don't spend enough time with them, or when we do we are not 'present' enough.

I believe that all mums, even the most amazing, attentive and committed mums, feel at some point that they are not good enough. Why is this?

Recently in our house there has been a bit of a role reversal and I have returned to near full time work. Even though this decision was made in the best interests of the family unit and to create the best life for my children, I would be lying if I said I don't continually have to work through feels of guilt. Mother's guilt frequently visits me as I prepare my two children for their days at child care. Have I prepared them enough? What happens if they get sick? What happens if I am not there to comfort them when they feel sad?

Mother's guilt isn't going anywhere and we all will be stricken with it at some time or another. But after a month in our new family 'norm' I have discovered some home truths;

- As long as a child feels loved and secure they will be ok
- Daddy can also do hair and is very capable at singing group, swimming and art class
- If the carpet does not get vacuumed and the floors don't get mopped in a week the world will not end
- Be present in the moment, do what makes your children happy (even if that means re-enacting 'let is go' from the movie Frozen 100 times) and look for opportunities to make memories with them. Quality time far outweighs quantity
- You are enough

Mother's guilt is only natural and is the consequence of wanting to be a good mother to your children. However, in the end it will only weigh you down. It is time as mothers that we are kinder to ourselves and to each other and realise that we do our best in the circumstances that we find ourselves in and this is in fact enough.

So here is my letter to working mothers

Dear Working Mother,

You are doing a great job. And your kids will turn out just fine. Try to give yourself a break.

 Truly.

Grace xx

  (Evening of girl time at the pool)

Any which way but out!

This weekend our little family went on an adventure to Melbourne to celebrate the birthday of Mr A. We held high hopes for the first 'mini holiday' for our family of four as it gave us an opportunity to visit a city we love and create memories as a family.

Being the organiser I felt some pressure (self enforced) to create the "perfect mini break". In reflection the idea of "perfect" is pretty ridiculous as life is unpredictable and often you can be thrown a curve ball out of your control which you can either let hit you and get disappointed by  or instead become adaptable to and laugh about. I think it is these such occasions or imperfections that make family holidays great and what will be remembered for years to come.

Yes we did have a few epic fails;
- Thinking we were off to the Carlton Football Club Family Day (anyone who knows my husband will know the importance of this occasion) only to find out the day before that the event had been rescheduled for the following weekend
-  Surely a single room would provide ample space for our little family, right?!? Wrong!  Being under house arrest due to a clever 2 year old who decided she wanted to make the most of the experience and in fact didn't feel that sleep was necessary
- A tram ride at peak time into the city resembling how sardines must feel in a can.

However it would be remise of me not to list our wonderful successes;

- Melbourne Zoo was a major HIT even with the drizzle and impending thunder storms. Adella was quite taken with her new pink umbrella and oversized rain coat. Who knew it is very difficult to find wet weather gear in January- Melbourne four seasons in one day?
- Drinking cold ciders and people watching on valentine's day
- Adella wishing Mr A 'Happy Birthday' and breaking out into song with gusto at the drop of a hat. got to love her enthusiasm
- Taking a detour off the beaten track on the way home and visiting Brookfield Maze. http://brookfieldmaze.com.au/

Brookfield Maze is located at Myrrhee, North East Victoria, nestled in the foothills of the King Valley gourmet food and wine region uniquely situated alongside the picturesque Fifteen Mile creek.            

The Brookfield Maze is a traditional puzzle hedge maze with the object being to find the centre and reach the viewing platform.

To be honest we hadn't really thought it threw. How difficult could a maze be with two small children? (one in a pram and one who is notorious for running off) Surely there will be a map or a cheat sheet.

I was reminded that a cheat sheet would defeat the purpose of the whole experience and I needed to take the feeling of complete disorientation in my stride. We pressed on through rows and rows of perfectly manicured hedges, many dead ends, a toilet stop and finally after what seemed like an eternity we reached the viewing platform! What an achievement!  Mr A later recalled his humour as he could see my blood boiling, believing that I would throw the towel in at any minute. "Just tell people we made it" he thought I would say. But thankfully we did. What was the best accomplishment was not the view from the platform, but the smile on sweaty miss Adella's face as she skipped to the car and fell asleep shortly after for the rest of the journey home.

Definitely a birthday Mr A will not forget in a hurry....


X Grace

 

 

 

 

The voice of the sea speaks to the soul

"The voice of the sea is seductive; never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander for a spell in abysses of solitude; to lose itself in mazes of inward contemplation.
The voice of the sea speaks to the soul. The touch of the sea is sensuous, enfolding the body in its soft, close embrace." Kate Chopin

There is something about the sea that enriches my soul and leaves me feeling rejuvenated and centred.

As a child I grew up on an island that could only be accessed by boat. This idyllic setting was the canvas in which many of my fondest childhood memories where created. Sailing on a Saturday, searching for mud crabs on low tide, riding my bike with my best friend until dusk, hand reel fishing. Good old fashioned fun... no computers, social media or mobile phones in sight. no worries. no responsibilities.

There is nothing I love more than swimming in the ocean. I feel instantly revitalised and as if a weight is lifted as soon as I become one with the water. I think the enormity of the ocean puts things  into perspective.

This past weekend I took a trip with little Alfie to Sydney to visit my gorgeous family. To my delight we had the opportunity to take a day trip to the beach. I do believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder and after 9 years of living inland nothing excites me more than a visit to the beach.
I have become over sensitive to this experience and as I floated in the water at the mercy of the rolling waves I noted the little things I am thankful for;

- The sound of the waves crashing in
- Taste of salt on your lips and the tingling feeling as it dries on your skin
- Coolness of water 
- Concoction of smells salt, seaweed, sun cream
- The feeling of sand between your toes
- Lasting foot prints in the sand
- Colour palate of blues, turquoise, greens, greys

I could not wipe the smile off my face!

What does a trip to the sea do for you?

x Grace

Creating Memories: Sunday Picnic in the Park

 

Sorry Mummy......

I think having children has changed me. I know that is not really a surprising or profound observation but rather an acknowledgement of the journey I have been on over the past 2 and a bit years.

I remember as we were eagerly awaiting the arrival of our daughter Adella, Adam and I would regularly chat about the type of parents we wanted to be,  the hopes we had for our children and the values we wanted to bestow upon them.

I began writing letters to Adella during this period and recently reflected on how I felt at the time. As I reread my initial words to my unborn daughter the sentiment still rang true;

-I hope that you will always feel loved and cherished for who you are and your uniqueness is celebrated
-I hope that you will have the confidence to be true to yourself and the conviction to do what you know is right
- Never be afraid to dream big, never hide your uniqueness and always be brave enough to try

Over two years has passed since we welcomed vivacious Adella into the world and in a short time she has made quite an impression on all whom she comes into contact with. She exudes joy, goes to the beat of her own drum and has no fear.

She is fiercely independent, believes she CAN do all this  and at times this can lead to much frustration,  (both for Adella and myself), she is the protector of her brother and at times kills him with kindness and love.

Not a day goes by when she hasn't made us laugh, given us cause for a heart attack or a reason to pull our hair out but we wouldn't have it any other way.

Recently though I was challenge by something she said . Two little words that had such a profound impact on me that I was left feeling exposed and needing to make some changes.

Adella had been happily playing in the garden when out of the blue she looked up at me with her compassionate eyes and sweetly said "Sorry Mummy"...... This shocked me as she had not done anything that warranted an apology, nor was I quite sure why she felt she needed to ask for my forgiveness.

I had not heard her  mutter those words ever and began to wonder where she had picked them up from. I pondered this for only a few moments and then it hit me.... Adella was modelling off one of the most significant people in her life.... Her Mummy.... Me.

This caused me to reflect:

I have always been a bit of a nervy person and can attribute this probably to caring or feeling too much. I can identify aspects of myself as a child in Adella, I too loved life and was quite silly, I had moments of over confidence but also held a bit of anxiety which I unfortunately have carried through. I had a tendency to be a bit clumsy and felt the need to routinely apologise in case I messed up or broke something, I never wanted to get anyone upset, or let anyone down and felt that things out of my control were perhaps my fault. Upon reflection as an adult I can remember times that I apologised for things that now seem ridiculous and somewhat humorous, even one day apologising for the weather..... I wouldn't put it past me if I have subconsciously apologised for breathing.

However this was no longer about how it had affected me, but how now it would have an impact on my precious one and her interactions with others if I didn't take some serious action.
Now was the time to stop apologising and start living.... If not for me but for her.. I want her to take life with both hands and not be limited in any capacity. I want her to feel nurtured and have no need to unnecessarily  feel the need to apologise for things that are not in her control or her worry.

 I am thankful for this opportunity for reflection but know that this path called "parenthood" will be littered with similar learning curves and sometimes challenging pot holes that will make me reflect, at times question my own beliefs actions, but provide me opportunities to change.. If not initially for myself but for her.

As I return to my original letter to my unborn daughter it ends...

"May I have the strength and ability to guide you, nurture your strengths, comfort you in times of trouble and be the role model that you need me to be. Know, I will always give you my best. "

x Grace

Bartholomew the Bear:A gift of compassion/ A lesson in kindness

 

 

Have you ever been floored by an act of kindness from a stranger? Something that transformed a situation from being increasingly difficult to hopeful and encouraging. My little man Alfie and myself  had such an occasion today. 

 

The poor little poppet had a challenging day as he needed to have day surgery. As we presented at the admission office at the hospital, I found it difficult to mask my apprehension of what lay ahead. My mother's heart did not want my little boy to have to endure any pain or sadness. Even though I knew that the procedure was necessary and inevitable and that the outcome would be beneficial for Alfie I could not help feeling guilty for leading my precious one into a situation that I couldn't protect him from.

 

As we walked down the corridor into the waiting room I glanced at the faces of the other parents who were waiting with their children. Looking at them was like looking into a mirror. For they shared my anxiety, apprehension and guilt.

 

I then looked down into the blue cot that was allocated to Alfie and at that very moment I was overcome with emotion and floored by an act of kindness from a stranger that provided me with encouragement, hope and reassurance in a time when I needed it most. A little knitted bear (whom we have since called Batholomew) with a bright purple jumper and kind eyes was sitting up, waiting to greet us and give Alfie a reassuring cuddle.

 

He had been given to us by the local ladies auxiliary group who regularly get together to knit bears to be given to children who are unwell or have surgery at the hospital.

 

Being a crafter who has made a few soft toys in my time, I always am in awe of the love and time that goes into making one of these beauties.

 

It was this point that floored me; That a stranger had invested her time, money and effort to make a bear who would be my son's companion and bring him comfort during a day that was filled with uncertainty.  She didn't need to meet him, she wasn't doing it to be thanked, She did it as a genuine act of kindness, as a symbol of compassion and hope when I needed it the most.

 

So to those ladies of the local auxiliary  I want to say THANK YOU;

 

-Thank you for making a beautiful bear that will always hold special meaning and significance for my husband and I

- Thank you Batholomew for being the protector of Alfie and giving him reassuring cuddles when he needed them the most and allowing him to peacefully drift off to sleep when we returned home

 

- Thank you for bringing a smile to his face and making him laugh when his day had been filled with tears

 

and lastly

 

- Thank you for challenging me about the importance of having genuine compassion and being kind without needing any other motivation other than wanting to bring happiness to others

 

x Grace

 

 

Sunday Baking: Gluten Free Banana Bread

I find something therapeutic about baking, particularly on a Sunday. Having recently gone back to work after maternity leave I often find that once the 2 bambinos are feed, dressed and off to care I have little time to get myself ready and often am scrabbling as I run out the door for some healthy options to snack on at work.

This gluten free banana bread recipe is one of my staples and is enjoyed by both the littlies and the grown ups in our house.  I hope you enjoy it!

Gluten Free Banana Bread:

Makes 1 loaf
300 g (10  1/2  oz)  smashed ripe banana
3 free range / organic eggs
60 g ( 2 oz / 2 tablespoons) raw honey or organic maple syrup
1 teaspoon vanilla
60 g (2 oz/  1/4 cup)  macadamia nut oil or cold pressed olive oil
half teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2  tsp baking soda ( bicarb soda) + 1 tbsp lemon juice
200 g ( 2 cups/ 7  oz) ) almond meal
25 g (1/4 cup / 3/4  oz)  ground flaxseed (linseed) or chia seed

Preheat your oven to 160 C.

Combine smashed banana, honey, oil, cinnamon, vanilla, eggs, bicarb and lemon. ( the lemon activates the bicarb).

Add the almond meal and flaxseed and mix well.

Lightly oil one loaf tin and then coat liberally with extra almond meal or desiccated coconut – this will prevent the cake from sticking.

Spoon batter into the tin and bake for  45  minutes to 1 hour ( a skewer inserted into the centre should come out dry).

Cover the top with foil if over-browning.

Remove from the oven and allow to cool before turning out the loaf.
Makes 1 loaf serves 12.
keeps in the fridge covered for up to 1 week.

Serving Suggestions:
I personally like to have this plain and simple but on the occasion I feel like adding a bit more sweetness I serve with some Ricotta and Honey.

Recipe based on https://www.thehealthychef.com/2013/01/gluten-free-banana-bread/

(The food critic/head taste tester approves)